I Am Not A Failure and Neither Are You

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34 Comments
 
Hello lovely readers I hope you are well and will enjoy today's post. It is directed at myself but I'm sure a lot of you have either felt like I have at some point or are currently feeling like this. So I hope this post helps you.


Recently I have been feeling like a massive failure, well I say recently probably for about 6/7 months. I think the main reason is that I graduated from uni in September and still have not found a full time job that can give me the means to fully support myself. I haven't got my own place and I haven't travelled to every corner of the world. This feeling was only enhanced as I sat in the induction of my part time cleaning job being spoken to like a 13 year old or when I was screamed at for asking a question at this job (I left it, in case you couldn't guess).

So I think it's becoming obvious what the main problem is; I put way too much pressure on myself. I forget that I am a 23 year old living in a pretty terrible economy where thousands of  people are fighting for the same one job. I don't have a rich family that can support all my travels and whims and who can rent or buy me somewhere to live.

I am not a failure no matter how much life puts pressure on me it's important to remember that I am not a failure. Everything I have achieved and everything I have wanted and obtained is because I worked for it. Nobody gave it to me, I earnt it. I got myself through university, I managed to get myself to South Korea, I write and maintain this blog. Sure, if it hadn't been for some peoples' support I may not have achieved these things but it was me who put in the hours and willpower to get the things I wanted.  

I may not have a full time, Instagram worthy, dream job but I have managed to find a job that will get a bit of money coming in. And will give me some time to work out what I want and what direction I should head. Not knowing exactly what I want doesn't make me a failure, it gives me time to figure things out. 

I am not a failure because I am not as successful as my older brother who (as he loves to tell me) has never failed at a job interview. Comparison is a disease that makes you feel like a failure and will leave you unsatisfied no matter how much you achieve. Instead of comparing my life to others I should be happy for them and be happy for everything I have/have achieved. Being bitter or jealous of someone else's achievements is what will make you a failure.

I am not a failure because I haven't given up. No matter how many emails I receive saying "unfortunately we will not be taking your application any further" or some variant of that, I have not just given up and stopped, I have carried on. Even though it's physically and emotionally draining at times I haven't given up hope that things will work out for me. I am not a failure. 

Society puts enormous and unrealistic pressure on us, in your 20s you are supposed to be young and crazy and travel but also find yourself a house, your dream job and start a family. If you don't meet these crazy expectations you feel like a failure. You're not. If anything it's society that is the failure for putting these pressures on you and for not supporting you achieve these things it expects of you. 

I have achieved many things that I am proud of, I may not be perfect (far from it) but I try my hardest to be good and do what is right, I love unconditionally, I support my friends and family. I put 100% of myself into whatever I try. 

I am not a failure and neither are you.



I hope you enjoyed this post and it helped you if you are feeling like me currently. 



Thanks for reading! 




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34 comments:

  1. Love love loved this! I graduated in October and I feel like so many people are age are going through this and society/people we know are constantly on about 'what're you doing with your degree'...'when are you getting a job'...'when are you moving out' without realising there's NOTHING out there for us to sustain a life on. I agree it's not our failure, it's beyond our control half the time and we forget to celebrate the achievements we have made! Loved this, really resonated this morning! xx

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    1. I'm so pleased you liked it and it helped you this morning. Thank you so much for your lovely comment!

      Ella xx

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  2. I love this blog post babe, it's amazing! I'm so happy that you wrote it and shared all of your thoughts with the world because I know so many other people out there, me included, can totally understand what it feels like to be like this. <3

    With love, Alisha Valerie. xo
    http://alishavalerie.blogspot.com
    http://twitter.com/alishavalerie

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    1. Aw thank you so much gorgeous I'm glad you enjoyed it, your comment was so lovely it's really made my day!

      Ella xx
      www.inellaselement.co.uk

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  3. Loved reading this post! It's nice to see the more personal sides of people in blogs! x

    Victoria | http://victoriaahelenn.blogspot.co.uk

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    1. Thank you so much, I'm really pleased you enjoyed it!

      Ella xx

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  4. You are most definitely not a failure Ella! You graduated Uni, which is huge and you are constantly trying to better your situation and that's more than a lot of people can say! Believe me, most of us don't have an Insta-worthy job/house/life. Comparing yourself to others is definitely a slippery slope. I think you are amazing and I am grateful to have someone like you in my life! Hope you are having a wonderful week gorgeous woman, you deserve it! XO -Kim

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    1. Aw Kim you always know how to make me happy, you're such a lovely woman and amazing friend and you always know how to make me feel good about myself. Thank you so much for your lovely comment, I keep meaning to email you but I have a runny egg for a brain and keep forgetting! I will email you this weekend! I hope you're well my absolutely wonderful, gorgeous friend and your week is going well so far!

      Ella xx

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  5. This is SUCH a powerful post, Ella! I really needed to read this today, it really makes me feel that I'm not alone. Comparison is indeed very harmful, it's really hard to stop yourself doing it as sometimes it's just unavoidable! Thank you for sharing this though, this is a really important post 💞

    Abbey ✨ www.abbeylouisarose.co.uk

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    1. Thank you so much lovely I'm so glad that you enjoyed it and that it helped you. You are definitely not alone! Thanks for stopping by lovely!

      Ella xx

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  6. This is brilliant, I loved reading! It's so true, society makes it so easy for us to feel like we're failing if we don't have 'perfect' lives by our mid-twenties, but it's such a load of rubbish. It can be really tough to find your feet and it certainly takes a while - I'm nearly 4 years out of uni now and it definitely took me some time before I ended up with things I thought everybody expected me to have. The most important thing is for us to remember how lucky we are to have the things we DO have, and to know that where we are now isn't going to be where we are forever if we don't want it to be. We aren't failures unless we give up trying :)

    Rebecca xx
    - www.thestyleshake.com -

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    1. Thank you so much I'm really pleased you enjoyed it. I agree it's hard to get exactly where you want to be and as long as you don't give up you haven't failed! Thanks for dropping in!

      Ella xx

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  7. That's such a beautiful and inspiring post! I can understand where you're coming from, though, society is putting a lot of pressure and young people to conform and it can be overwhelming. You are definitely not a failure, I am really impressed by the things you listed and in the end, the only thing that matters is how we feel about ourselves. If we don't feel like a failure, we aren't one. We are still so young and got plenty of time to find that 'dream' job and to follow our dreams and the most important thing is that we try. I recently saw a Harvard professor's CV - it wasn't about his achievements though, it was about the things he didn't get and the numbers of universities he didn't get into or that didn't want him as a professor - the list was very long. Also remember that Harry Potter got turned down by 12 publishers. ;) xx

    113-things-to-say.blogspot.com

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    1. Thank you so much for your comment you're absolutely right how we see ourselves is the most important thing! Oh wow that CV sounds really interesting! Thanks for stopping by!

      Ella xx

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  8. Love love love this post! It's so inspiring, I needed to read this as I find that I'm too hard on myself sometimes because of society pressures. Keep focussing on what you have achieved :)
    - Nishi x
    www.nishiv.com

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    1. I'm so glad you liked this post and it helped you! Thanks for popping in!

      Ella xx

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  9. You are NOT a failure at all! Look at how far you have come, the things you have achieved. A job is not the end of the world, most of us don't have what we would call a 'dream job' but we have a job and it funds our dreams. I never wanted a career, I just wanted something semi interesting, semi enjoyable, working with nice enough people that paid reasonably well. it's what I do outside of the job that really counts, the people I see, the places I go, the roof I out over my head. I work to live, not live to work, but everyone is different. You've got to do what makes you happy, and it will happen, in time, of which you have SO much!

    Good luck and just enjoy yourself! Forget expectations and do what YOU want to do!

    Sarah :)
    Saloca in Wonderland

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    1. Thank you so much for your lovely comment. You're absolutely right a job doesn't define you. Thank you for dropping in!

      Ella xx

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  10. Thank you for this lovely post Ella. It's just what I needed :) I am currently going through the same process as you. Hopefully we can get out of this rut together. Xx

    skinnydecxflatte.blogspot.com xo

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    1. Thank you so much I'm so pleased you enjoyed it and it helped you! Thank you for stopping by!

      Ella xx

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  11. This was a really helpful ! there can be loads of pressure and it's so important to keep your head above the water and appreaciate yourself for everything you've done ! Getting yoruself through uni its brilliant achievment ! I'm so proud of you :)

    lots of love, Marianne xxx

    http://myhappybubblexx.blogspot.co.uk/

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    1. Thank you I'm so pleased you liked this post. Thank you for popping in!

      Ella xx

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  12. I don't consider myself a failure and I'm currently unable to work due to chronic physical illness. I don't consider myself a failure because I get up each day (when I'm able) and have a go. That is my sole criteria for success. I'm successful because I'm human and I'm trying. Which means you are too, by my definition! congrats on graduating varsity - that takes a lot of hard work and commitment. Remember to use your networks to find work - I worked successfully for the last 8 years of my career without ever answering an ad. When I wanted work I just let everyone i knew know I was available, with a killer resume and cover email. I didn't even use Linked In. And consider using your blog to make money. Melyssa Griffin runs some awesome free courses about how to do this by designing and running e courses - it's worth checking out her website. You're a great writer with a real ability to connect with others. You don't say what you studied, but that may be a good source of info to base a course on. Anyway, good luck! With your attitude I think you will be fine.

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    1. You definitely are not a failure that's amazing of you and I love your definition! Thank you so much for your kind words and advice I will definitely look into these courses! Thank you for popping in!

      Ella xx

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  13. Great post!
    All I wanted to do at the end of it is to hug you!!!

    I have not yet finished university, and while I do enjoy attending I feel like I am not doing anything important with my life.

    We all want to feel significant, don't we. I hope you find comfort in the things and the people you love.

    Lots of lovee xx

    https://anasdomain.net/

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    1. Aw thank you lovely, good luck with the rest of uni I understand how you feel I felt like that a lot in uni. Thanks for dropping in!

      Ella xx

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  14. I loved reading this, you are most definitely not a failure! I feel like there's so much pressure put on young people these days, it's easy to doubt yourself. You don't have to have a specific plan as soon as you graduate uni, just go with the flow! xx

    Kathryn | Chapters of Kat

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    1. Thank you so much, your lovely comment means so much to me, I definitely will just go with the flow. Thanks for dropping in!

      Ella xx

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  15. This is such a motivating post, on days when I'm feeling really negative about my body I need to remember that I'm not the only one that feels this way and I'm not a failure! I wish you well with uni :) x

    Eleanorclaudie.com

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    1. Thank you. Thanks for dropping in!

      Ella xx

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  16. Thank you so much for sharing this. It is so genuine and from the heart :) I am in my twenties, still in school, broke, and currently jobless.. Thank you for sharing this and letting me know that I'm not alone! good luck in your job situation and your future! You are not-- nor will you ever be-- a failure! So glad to have found your blog xX

    kynialikethecountry.blogspot.com

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    1. Thank you so much I'm really pleased this post helped you and you enjoyed it! You are definitely not alone and you are certainly not a failure! Thank you so much for your lovely comment!

      Ella xx

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  17. Social media is a terrible thing for making people feel like failures. Sometimes we need to just sit back and be grateful for all the wonderful things that we do have. For me the fear of failure stops me from doing things altogether which is awful. Loved this post though, so inspiring xx

    www.damzelinthisdress.com

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    1. I agree sometimes social media is only showing us a reality that someone has made for that specific post/picture and their real life is nothing like that at all. I'm so glad you liked this post,thanks for stopping by!

      Ella xx

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